Manually creating a remote kernel connection is a useful debugging tool. You should try this if you are having trouble connecting to a remote kernel.

1. Start Mathematica on your local machine.
2. Navigate to the menu item Evaluation ► Kernel Configuration Options.
   

   

3. To add a new kernel and configure it, click Add. On macOS, click “+” sign at the bottom left. The Kernel Properties dialog appears.
   
4. Enter an appropriate name for your remote kernel, such as “Remote Kernel”.
5. Under Basic Options, set “Launch on” to “Remote Machine”.
6. Clear the field “Kernel Program”.
7. Click the Advanced Options switch. In the field “Arguments to MLOpen”, enter:

   -LinkMode Listen -LinkProtocol TCPIP

   

8. Click OK.
9. Open a new notebook.
10. Navigate to the menu item Evaluation ► Notebook’s Kernel and click the name of the kernel that you just created.
11. Inside the notebook, evaluate the command:

    $Version

    Instead of printing Mathematica’s version number, a message box appears with the linkname:

    MathLink 
    Link created on:

12. Record this linkname so that you can use it later, and click OK to close the dialog. The title bar of the notebook should still say “Running…” at the top.
13. Connect to the remote machine and launch the Wolfram Language kernel there.
14. Inside that kernel, run the command:

    $ParentLink = LinkConnect["linkname", LinkProtocol->"TCPIP"]

    Here, “linkname” is the linkname that you recorded earlier, wrapped in quotation marks. For example, if the linkname is:

     port1@machine.domain.com,port2@machine.domain.com

    please run:

    $ParentLink = LinkConnect["port1@machine.domain.com,port2@machine.domain.com",
     LinkProtocol->"TCPIP"]

    The notebook that is open on the local machine now prints out the version of Mathematica that you remotely connected to.

    This indicates that the local machine is successfully using the remote kernel.